Make Time To Talk

Jack Walton - Family Relationships, PTSD, Spirituality and Therapy - 💙

Matt O'Neill Season 1 Episode 14

In this YouTube episode, Jack opens up about his difficult relationship with his father. He explains that at the age of 18, he had to make the difficult decision to cut his dad out of his life. He had not seen his father in four years at this point and had decided that the relationship was too toxic for him to continue. 

Jack explains that he and his father were complete opposites, and he never felt like he was good enough for his dad. He felt anxious every time he saw him, and his father's presence triggered his anxiety. Even though his father had mental health issues, including aggression, violence, and a need for control, Jack still struggled to maintain a relationship with him. He realised that he was not having a good time with his dad, and his father was not having a good time with him either. Jack's sister also made the same decision as him to cut their father out of their lives.

The episode then moves on to Jack opening up about his spiritual journey, sharing how it has impacted his life and what it means to him. He starts by stating that spirituality is more than just a concept, but rather a way of life that involves love, acceptance, and being mindful and present at the moment.

Jack shares that his spiritual journey began seven years ago when he had a spiritual awakening at the age of 19. This experience was all-encompassing, amazing, and scary at the same time. The awakening led Jack to make some significant changes in his life, particularly around his mental health and mindset. He began developing a slower pace of life, engaging in meditation, and setting goals for himself.

Jack then talks about his experience with therapy. He mentions that he had counselling when he was younger, from the age of 13 to 14, but had not received any treatment for ten years until he noticed that he had many triggers during the COVID-19 lockdown in 2021. He attributes many of these triggers to his relationship with his father and how he treated him. Jack talks about how his dad abandoned him, which made it difficult for him to form connections with men. He says that his struggles to have male friendships and feel safe around men, in general, are all because of what happened to him as a child.

Jack also discusses his experience with PTSD, specifically focusing on the impact of trauma on memory. He explains that he has tried to remember the traumatic experience, but there is a block in his memory that prevents him from accessing it. He notes that this is a common experience for individuals who have been through highly traumatic events, as the brain protects itself from further harm by suppressing the memory.

Jack likens this to a file cabinet, where the traumatic memory is stored away in a file that is inaccessible. However, he also notes that with therapy and healing, he has been able to remember parts of his childhood that were previously blocked. 

Jack finally opens up about his experience with bullying during high school. He shares that he did not enjoy his high school experience due to the way he was made to feel. It was a build-up over the years, and he missed out on many things like clubs, groups, and even prom. Jack had good friends, but school was not a nice place for him due to the constant name-calling and other verbal abuse he received.

The discussion ends with an emphasis on healing and moving forward, with Jack expressing gratitude for the power of therapy, spirituality, and self-care in his journey towards healing.

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